Boys From the County Hell
by Linchalou
Summary: "You know, I've been to Hell. Spent about a hundred years down there, and it's worse than it's given credit for." John Winchester's POV as he watches his boys through the seasons.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: I've always loved John Winchester, so this story is a way to still have him in the show, but on the sidelines! He will follow his boys through the seasons (I'm not sure how many yet), and explain his thoughts about things that happen. I might go a bit out of the storyline once or twice, but not much if that is the case._

_In this chapter there will be spoilers for season 1 and 2!_

_(Oh, and the title of this fic is borrowed from a song by The Pogues, just FYI.)_

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><p><strong>Boys From the County Hell – chapter 1<br>**

You know, I've been to Hell. Spent about a hundred years down there, and it's worse than it's given credit for. The torture they put me through, those bastards. Alastair was the worst; he had these very, very disturbed ideas and performed them all on me. Then there were the poor, tortured souls who had given in, who had saved themselves from physical torture by giving in to the mental, agreeing to torture others. I pitied them. But I have to admit, every time I was offered the same deal as they had agreed to, I gave it a serious thought. If it hadn't been for the smug look Alastair got each and every time he asked, I would have said yes. Blame it on my pride, or my stubbornness, but I would not let that son of a motherless ogre win.

So anyway, days, months and years passed, every day the same as the day before and the next. And then something happened.

The first thing I noticed was a warm breeze of some sort. You'd think Hell is warm enough, but it's not, really. Think of the warmth of Hell as the warmth just before a massive thunderstorm is about to break loose. The sticky, headache producing, there-is-no-sun-but-yet-it's-extremely-hot warmth. And then think of the relief you feel when a sudden wind appears, cooling you down. That's what I felt that day.

My demon guards felt it too, and honestly, I think they liked it just as much as I did. They stopped, just for a second, and loosened their grip on me. But that was all I needed. I broke out of their holds and ran. First, it was just a panicked escape. I had no idea where to go. But then I saw the multiple clouds of demon smoke, all going the same way. Voices from all around me were heard, some whispers, some shouts:

**"It's been opened!"**

Yes, I followed the demons. Probably not a good idea, but I had nowhere else to go except back to the clutches of Alastair and that was not the first thing on my wish-list. And it turned out I was lucky, for once.

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><p>It's kind of hard to explain Hell to someone who hasn't been there, but I'll do the best I can. You see, Hell is not just "under ground", even though that's what you associate it with. Because, well, Heaven is of course in heaven and the opposite of heaven should be down in the dirt. But then again, Hell is freakishly hot, so as the opposite of that, Heaven should be freezing. And it's not. No, Hell is sort of in the middle of nowhere, a collection of every ruined thing that has ever been on Earth. Every person has their own little Hell, where the things you fear the most come true. Then there is the public room, where you're tortured. Since I was Alastair's little bitch, I actually spent most of my days in there. And believe it or not, I think that's how I managed to even remember who I was.<p>

The reason I'm trying to explain Hell to you, is to try to explain how I got out. The thing that had been opened was nothing less than a door that led to the "normal" world. You'd think I'd have to climb out, because of the "Hell is underground"-idea. As a matter of fact it was more like jumping, falling, rolling, dodging , running and _then _climbing out of Hell. But I got out. And I was met with a sight I'd never thought I'd see again. My sons.

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><p>I know I wasn't the best of fathers. I might even have been one of the worst. But I always loved my boys, I still do. So when I saw that filthy yellow eyed demon, the one I had been hunting for so long, standing over Dean… I didn't think, I just reacted.<p>

All of my anger, all of my love just came flooding out. Every inch of me wanted to protect Sam and Dean, and kill that bastard. I flung myself at the demon, wrapping my arms around him in an attempt to at least distract him from shooting Dean. I was just as surprised as Yellow Eyes was when it actually worked, so he could quickly toss me away. But my distraction was enough, and Dean shot the sucker, right through the heart.

Damn, I was proud.

I couldn't really speak to any of them, but I needed a good look at Dean, to know that my sacrifice wasn't in vain. His eyes met mine, and I knew that I had nothing to regret. He would forever protect Sammy, and I knew that Sam would look after Dean. I smiled.

Suddenly I felt tired, I mean seriously worn out. I guess displaying your feelings that much does that to you. I could no longer hold on to my physical form, and vanished from sight. But I kept watching them for a long time. And I am a bit ashamed to admit it, but I've been around them - just keeping an eye on them from time to time - ever since.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: It's time for the next chapter! _

_Spoilers for season 3 and 4._

_Enjoy!_

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><p><strong>Boys From the County Hell – chapter 2<strong>

I went to Heaven, too. That was… better than my trip to Hell, to say the least. Your own perfect Paradise, everything you ever wished for comes true. It's an amazing place. Thing is, I'm not all too fond of happily-ever-after. Because I know that it's not true, there's always something wrong. I met Mary again, but I soon realized it wasn't the real one. She was never so perfect, giving me compliments, doing everything for me. That's what I loved about my wife. She was perfect by not being perfect. So I tired of Heaven after a while, making a few stone-faced angels come and talk to me. I did _not _expect angels to be so… boring. They were just not funny. At all.

They told me my spirit was different, because I originally belonged to Hell (not the nicest remark, but I guess they were right). Because of that, I was able to see through this dreamy place, you know, see the reality. And that gave me a sort of advantage: I could actually go down on Earth every now and then, if I returned once in a while to reload my spirit's batteries. Now _that _made me happy.

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><p>The ability to travel between Earth and Heaven made me able to watch my sons' daily battles and hardships and at least imagine I was there, supporting them. It turned out Dean had sold his goddamn <em>soul <em>to bring Sam back to life after something had happened to him. I realized they both had come to the conclusion that Sammy was different, that something was wrong. I already knew that, of course. That's why I had told Dean – during my last minutes before I went to Hell for some refreshing torture – that he might have to kill his own brother one day. I didn't want to say it, I didn't even want Dean to do it, but I knew that if it would come to saving almost the entire population on Earth or Sam, the latter would have to be the one to go. And now, the older of my two moronic sons had chosen to sacrifice himself in order to save the younger. I guess it lies in the Winchester genes; always put yourself second if you can save someone else.

I couldn't really be angry at him, though. I mean, I did the exact same thing for Dean. Of course, I'm his father and I considered my sacrifice logical. But then again, Dean thought the exact same thing about his sacrifice. Can't say that he wasn't right, even though he was wrong. Thing is, if Dean hadn't sold his soul, Sam would be dead. I couldn't wish for him to be dead. And I thought hey, if anyone would be able to fix this mess it would be them. I'm not the one who brags and boasts, but I had raised my sons to be survivors. They could handle this.

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><p>Why was I so overconfident in my sons' abilities?<p>

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><p>It was obvious Dean had already given up the fight, in a way. While Sam tried his hardest to find out ways to rescue Dean, the one in question just sat back and enjoyed the last months of his life. That stupid kid. I tried to communicate with them, tell them to not give up. I wanted to tell Sam to keep trying, and I wanted to kick Dean's ass for not giving a shit. But I couldn't bring up the energy to even make a lamp flicker. I guess it's harder when you're out of the real ghost phase. Then there was the phone call, from "me". Man, that made me angry. Someone pretending to be me, luring Dean into a trap… but I think the worst part was to hear the hope in Dean's voice when he actually thought it was his father, and that I was going to help him save his soul. That made my heart ache.<p>

Sometimes, I saw angels in their human vessels around Sam and Dean, just watching them. I tried to talk to them, but like I said, angels aren't really talkative. They didn't want to help Dean, all of their focus was on Sam. The demons had him as a target as well. I had a bad feeling about that.

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><p>Angels can be asses. They didn't lift a finger to help Dean, they didn't even show that they existed. I mean, I had no idea they were real until I met them in Heaven, and I wasn't a little angry about them not caring about us humans. All the things we've gone through and they could have prevented at least half of it? They told me they couldn't care for one single person and that they worked for the greater good of all, and I guess I could accept that. But now I saw them around Sam and Dean, doing nothing but watching. And they kept watching, even when the Hellhounds started tearing him to shreds. At that point they actually looked a bit upset, talking to each other in whispers. When those disgusting creatures from Hell were finished – I could barely look at Dean – the angels were really getting worked up. Suddenly they vanished. Didn't know where they were going, and didn't care.<p>

Dean was in Hell. He was down there, suffering like I did. Probably even more, because now that I had escaped, Alastair would work his ass off to improve all of his sick torturing methods on my _son_. To be fair, Sam and Dean had done everything they could to prevent this. Even worked with a _demon_, for crying out loud. I wasn't happy with them for that, I thought I'd taught them to never, _ever _trust a demon. You just don't. They're all asses. But this time, the "I claim to be a friend"-demon wasn't the villain. It was that bitch Lilith.

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><p>I was there when Sam crawled to his brother, after Lilith and the Hellhounds had left. I saw him cradle Dean, shout his name, sobbing. My heart ached so much I was surprised I didn't show my physical form. Maybe I did, but Sam wouldn't have noticed anyway. He was so full of grief he couldn't see anything but his Dean. I wanted to stay, just to make sure Sam wouldn't do anything stupid (and maybe just a little bit to feel like I was there for him, for once), but something tugged at me. Suddenly, I was back in Heaven, surrounded by angels.<p>

"Hello John.", said one of them, "we need to ask you a few questions about Hell.".

"You know, this isn't the best time.", I said. "My son just got there himself and I really don't want to…". My voice broke after that.

"We know, John. That is why we are asking. I turns out your son needs to be rescued, or else he might start the Apocalypse."

Well, that got me talking.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Just so you know, I've been wondering why the angels would send the angel of Thursday on a search and rescue mission in Hell for some time. Not that I disapprove of it! And give me some kudos for the enormous research I did on Dean's birthday (i.e searched on Google for a calendar of 1979… I rule, right?)_

_Anyway, spoiler for season 4 in this chapter!_

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><p><strong>Boys From the County Hell – chapter 3<strong>

So as it turned out, the angels needed to know the layout of the rotten place. Or, more specific, the torture chamber. I told them everything I knew, even drew a map actually. They told me they would send one of their angels down there, one Castiel, the angel of Thursday. Why they would send the angel of Thursday to help Dean, I couldn't grip. Since Dean was born a Wednesday, I mean. But, as they told me many times up there: "the Lord works in mysterious ways". I still think it's a load of bullshit, but…

I asked the angels not to mention any of my help to the boys; it felt better to work on the sideline, without being acknowledged. The angels agreed (and somehow, I don't think they would have mentioned me even if I'd asked them to – probably wanted the entire honor for themselves).

Even though our planning had been fast – I'm guessing the whole map drawing-thing and explaining took about three days – the angels didn't seem to make a move for a long time. When I asked them about it, they told me Castiel needed to prepare, and that the journey to Hell wasn't something you could do lightly. I learned later that they were some sneaky sons of bitches, but at the time I believed them. I couldn't see why they should be delaying the rescue on purpose.

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><p>Even though I had given them all the help I was able to give, the angels wouldn't let me go down on Earth to check on Sam. Not even for a few seconds, to see if he was okay. It pissed me off, but years of hunting scary things have taught me at least one thing: don't mess with things that can turn you to ash in a blink. I guessed they kept me in Heaven to make sure I wouldn't go tattle about the plans to anyone (who that would be was a mystery though). Well, now I know that they just didn't want me to react badly to what Sam was up to. They probably thought I would try to ruin their – at that time – untold plans. And I would have.<p>

Then one day, about three months after Dean's death, Heaven turned chaos for a few seconds. Everything started shaking, a loud shrilling noise that was painful to hear started to sound and a bright light turned my vision white. And as fast as it had started, it stopped. Heaven was completely still, silent.

Suddenly, Heaven was in a flurry of activity. One angel had the courtesy to stop by and tell me that Castiel had begun his trip to Hell. I'm guessing the other angels were cheering on him from all around. If they'd eaten pop corn (or any food at all), they probably would have done that too. I have to admit though; I was just as excited as they were. But eating pop corn didn't seem the right thing to do when your son was about to be rescued from Hell, so I went to my fishing pond (one I had been to with Sam and Dean when they were kids, before Mary had died – it was a beautiful place) and leaned against a tree, waiting for updates. Luckily, spirits like me don't need sleep, because the wait was longer than I had anticipated.

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><p>There was angel that creeped me out as hell. He called himself Zachariah, and he just looked at me in a way… it was like he was disappointed in me. Not that kind of disappointment that a parent has in their kid or anything, but more like a really angry disappointment. No, more than that. He was seriously outrageous. Usually I deserve those looks, be it from a demon I tricked or a hunter I beat in a game of poker, but I couldn't for the love of God understand why an angel would be so pissed at me. Maybe it's Karma from another life. Not that I believe in that shit.<p>

That freaky angel came to visit me after after a month of waiting.

"Hello John.", he said (I'm not the expert in angel talk but what's up with them and the whole "Hello" thing? It seems like they think that's the only way to start a conversation. Just saying).

"Any news?", I asked, skipping to the point.

"Well, first of all, your son is a weak, poor soul. Secondly, Castiel managed to save him from Hell and he is now safe and sound at Bobby's place. Dean, that is.", Zachariah answered with a smug smile.

"Woah, back up. What do you mean with the 'your son is weak'-thingy?". I suspected the worst.

"Ah, that. You see, you would think that with a father like you" – he looked at me as I was worth less than a rotten piece of shit lying on the bottom of a giant dumpster – "he would have the same stubborn streak as you had in Hell. But, it turns out he broke."

"He… broke?"

"He gave in. Started torturing innocent souls, ripping them to shreds. It only took Alastair 30 years down there to convince Dean.". Zachariah turned to leave, but stopped and looked at me again.

"Oh, and he also broke the first seal. Your son started the Apocalypse, you must be such a proud father.", then he smiled and vanished.

I just stood there, dumbstruck. For how long, I don't know, but I'm guessing hours.

Dean broke.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: I'm truly sorry about my laziness. I can't control it! Anyway, I've changed a bit in chapter three so you should probably go back to read it again. It's not that important, but I noticed a few plot holes which I just had to correct, so if you noticed them before you might want to see that I've corrected them! _

_Now, an entire chapter that only covers one episode of season 4, while the others covered entire seasons... And finally I get to write Castiel!_

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><p><strong>Boys From the County Hell – chapter 4<strong>

I went down on Earth to see with my own eyes that Dean was safe. The angels didn't stop me this time, so in a flash I found myself standing in Bobby's kitchen. Damn, I just wanted to go to the fridge, take out a beer bottle and then sit down at the table, throwing jokes at the old hunter like in the old days. Well, the old days before we started to piss each other off and he wanted to shoot me. Still, Bobby was one of the best hunters I knew, he still is. Also, he was one of those that I held close, so I was happy that Sam and Dean had found the old man. Ah, he used to hate me for calling him old… he's not that much older than me, but in the beginning of our friendship he was always the brains while I was the brawns. That's why I started to look at him as an older, wiser relative.

Shit, I'm getting nostalgic. Back to the story: I stood in the kitchen for a while, just remembering the place and old hunts that had been planned there. After some time, went to look for Dean. I felt a pang of sadness when I noticed the empty bottles of liquor everywhere. Bobby and I were so much alike sometimes, especially in handling sorrow. I was only lucky I had someone to target my feelings on. If I'd lived to see that asshole Azazel die, I don't know if I would've managed to continue living a normal life. Maybe, with the help of Sam and Dean, but… I'm guessing liquor would have been my third support.

No one was in the house, but I had the feeling I'd just missed them. They had probably gone out to search for Sam. Unfortunately, my whole spirit on earth-thing didn't give me any superpowers whatsoever, so I couldn't localize Sammy. I went to places I figured they could be, and when that didn't give any results, I went back to Heaven to try and get some information by the angels. Luckily for me, one angel seemed to be in a talkative mood and actually said about four words to me.

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><p>Pontiac, Illinois. Go figure. Of course Sam would be as close as he could to Dean's grave. I went there, just in time to see the boys hug. Bobby was there too, no surprise, but there was someone else as well. At first I just thought it was a normal woman, maybe someone to comfort Sam, but as her eyes looked my way I noticed – she was a demon. No one else had seen it, and I couldn't exactly tell them, so I settled with deciding to keep an eye on her and talk to a few angels later. I knew the angels most probably would have this information already, but maybe they would tell me why the hell they would let a bitch be around my sons without smiting her ass back to where she came from. Ah, if only I'd known…<p>

Of course Dean thought Sam was behind his resurrection. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought so too. Sam had tried, though, to get Dean out of there, but I guess the Winchester family is just a bit too famous in the demon world – not even the crossroad demon had accepted a deal with him. I wondered how the boys would react when they found out who Dean's savior was. I chuckled. This could actually be fun. Or at least I thought so until they talked to Pamela and Castiel burned her eyes out.

I wondered if Dean remembered Hell. I sure did, but maybe an angelic touch could heal you not only physically, but your psyche as well. I also wondered if he knew what he had done.

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><p>I had to return to Heaven to "reload my batteries", so I left the boys, reassured that Bobby would make sure they didn't do something like that again. When I felt ready to go down there again, I was stopped by an angel who had entered my Heaven. I was sure I hadn't met him before, because he had a look one wouldn't forget, but he still felt familiar.<p>

"Hello John", he said (again with the hellos! Jesus!).

"Howdy, now who are you and what do you want?", I answered, impatient to get back to Sam and Dean.

The angel tilted his head and – sort of – smiled.

"I am Castiel, the one who gripped Dean tight and raised him from Perdition."

That sounded… a bit gross.

"Oh, thanks for that. I'm guessing you've been trying to talk to him? And what was it with the whole…" – I made a gesture towards my eyes – "eye burning thing?"

"I have been unsuccessful in my tries to contact Dean. I thought he might be able to see and hear me in my true form, but I was wrong. Pamela did not have the ability to lay her eyes on me either. To see my true form can be… overwhelming."

Overwhelming. That's what you call it when someone loses their eyes just by looking at you.

He continued: "I have now inhabited this vessel, and I am ready to talk to him again. I am merely here to introduce myself and to ask: is your son a believer?"

I snorted. "A believer? He believes in evil creatures and he knows how to kill them. I've taught him well. But angels? No. You'll probably have to perform a miracle to make him believe you are what you are."

"That is what I thought…", Castiel looked around. "Your Heaven is very humble", he then added.

"Humble?" I wondered how many Heavens he had visited.

"Yes. Many Heavens are filled with castles, expensive cars and money. Yours is very peaceful."

"Why thanks, I guess." I looked around myself, thinking about what he had said. Then I remembered my thoughts about Dean and Hell. "Hey, listen, does Dean…?", I started, turning around. Only to realize the Castiel had left.

"Angels.", I muttered.

_A/N: Okay, I don't know if I managed to make Castiel's reason to talk to John very believable, but I wanted those two to have a talk and oh well. This was what came out._


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